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Setting: The Santos family home. Ben and Blake have been invited by Carmen to dinner. Blake: I don't know why I agreed to come here with you. I shouldn't even be speaking to you. Ben: Don't blame me, I called you on the phone and I just asked "Blake, do you want to..." and you said yes before I even finished the question! Blake: I'm a never-say-no kinda girl. I didn't think I was saying yes to dinner with Mama's family. Ben: What did you think you were saying yes to? Blake: never mind, just ring the bell. Ben rings the doorbell. Carmen: Mr. Warren! and I see you've brought your lovely Balke. Blake: The name is Blake. Carmen: Of course it is, my dear. Please, come in, both of you. Don't mind the blood on the floor, just a former employee I had to terminate. Ben: Hmmph, must have been a bleeder. Carmen: Would you like a drink? Scotch? Martini? Bourbon?.... Blake (whispers to Ben): Arsenic?...insecticide??? Ben (quietly): Be nice. Carmen: Oh Mr. Warren, your friend has such a sense of humor and what style! I love your shoes Blake. I have a pair very much like them, only in concrete. Perhaps you would like to try them on? Ben: Hmmph, later. Blake has a nasty toenail fungus right now. Blake: Fungus?? What fungus?? Ben (changing subjects): Ah, how about a tour of the grounds? Carmen: Certainly, follow me. outside--- Carmen: This is the pool, and over here is where I shoot Skeet. (picks up rifle and fires) Blake: Who's that guy out there at the far end of the field? The one with a target on his shirt? Carmen: That would be Skeet. Such a loyal employee. (Skeet crumples to the ground, Ray rushes over to perform last rites) Dietz: Dinner is almost ready, Carmen. Carmen: Dietz, I will not be spoken to with such familiarity in front of our guests. You will refer to me by my formal name. Dietz: Sizzle lips? Carmen: Dietz, go away. Dietz: Yes M'am. Have I been naughty? Will you "punish" me later? Carmen: I still have a few shells left for this gun, Dietz so leave at once!!! Carmen: Mr. Warren, I think you will enjoy dinner. We will start off with turtle soup.... Blake (mockingly): followed by eye of newt and southern fried puppy dog tails. Carmen: You do slay me Blake, perhaps one day it will be the other way around Ben: Blake means no offense, she's used to more mundane cuisine. Blake: "Mundane" meaning the food I eat doesn't have a face to look back at me. Carmen: Please excuse me while I check to be sure everything is ready. A knock at the door, no one goes to answer it. Blake and Ben look at each other nervously. Blake: Well, I guess I'll go get it. Blake opens the door Shayne: Hi, Mrs. Marler. Have you seen Teddy my pet turtle? I lost it near here a few hours ago. Blake: Uh oh. Uh...Did you try calling it? Shayne: Whoah, I never thought of that. I didn't even know turtles had phones. Blake: Honey, I mean you should try calling out his name. Shayne: I guess I could try that. I'll go do it right now. (Shayne leaves). Blake: I REALLY hope he finds that turtle, think I'll skip the appetizer just in case. Poor Shayne, he's a good kid. Ben: But not the brightest bulb in the Lewis family lamp post. I wonder, though, do turtles have ears? Blake: Before or after Carmen gets through with them? Ben: Hmmph....
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