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Setting: Matt (aka "Robert") and Vanessa (aka "Tess") are both logged into the never-named but generic sounding "Poetry Chat room". [As if there's only one chatroom dedicated to poetry on the net.] Robert is at the house, while Vanessa and baby Maureen are at the Bauer Cabin. Robert: (typing) Tess, are you out here? It's Robert. I love you and I want you to come home. Sleezy1: (typing) Hiya Robert. Do you know any hot chicks? Give me their phone number if you do. Robert:(typing) Tess, is that you? Tess has entered the chatroom. Tess: (typing) Dearest Robert, are you there? It's Tess. I just wanted to say goodbye and wish you the best of luck with that clinging bimbo, Beth. Sleezy1: (typing) Hey Tess, are you a babe? I am one buff stud and I think you are one hot chick. Robert: (typing) Get lost pervert, what do you think this is, anyway? Sleezy1: (typing) Its a Poetry chatroom. In fact, I wrote a poem for my former love. Robert: (typing) Get lost, pal or I'll rip you open a new ... Tess: (typing) Robert, please. Show some decorum. This is a civilized poetry chatroom. go on Sleezy1, share your poetry.
Sleezy1: There once was a woman named Blake Robert: (typing) Ross, is that you? Sleezy1: (typing) Aw, what gave me away? Tess: (typing) You're not exactly up there with Keats or Frost, Ross. Sleezy1: (typing) Hey, Blake is a heckuva lot easier to rhyme that Balke. Tess: (typing) Ross, I think someone is making fun of Ben on Media Domain right now. Sleezy1: (typing) See you guys later, time for some serious Ben Bashing. Robert:(typing) I thought he'd never leave *********************DISCONNECTED****************************** Robert: (out loud) I got booted, this always happens! Tess: (typing) Robert? Did you leave? I guess you really don't want to talk to me anymore. Robert reloads the chatroom, waiting forever for the javascript to load again. Robert: (out loud) I hate Internet Exploder!!!! Tess: (typing) Robert, I'm leaving. Goodbye. BL #2 has entered the chatroom BL #2: (typing) Tess, wait. I'm so lonely, I need a woman who can make me feel special. Tess: (typing) Oh, BL #2, you poor thing. Tell me about yourself BL #2: (typing) Well, I'm funny and smart and I have a great personality. My friends even think I look like a young Val Kilmer. I used to live with these two hot babes, but they fought over the other roomate and never even gave me a look. This really hot older woman tried to seduce me, but it turns out she tried to kill my aunt so it put a crimp in our relationship. Robert enters his username but is greeted by yet another error message Robert: (outloud) What does this thing mean, Incorrect Username? Arghhhh!!!! BL #2: (typing) I bet you are so sexy. What are you wearing right now? Tess: (typing) Oh, I'm in evening apparel. Very thin, see through. BL #2: (typing) Any perfume? Tess: (typing) Oh yes, I'm wearing "Simply Annie". I found it in the trash at work. BL #2: (typing) Oh wow. I am so turned on by you. Are you 20 something? Tess: (typing) A real woman never tells her age. BL #2: (typing) Uh oh, older woman. huh? Tess: (typing) Yes, sorry to say I've seen 20 something more than once. BL #2: (typing) Heck, My mom's ancient and she married a guy half her age. Lets meet for dinner someplace. If things work out, I'll buy you breakfast, heh heh. Tess: (typing) Bill Lewis, is that you? BL #2: (typing) Ah, you heard of me and know my slick style with the babes. Tess: (typing) Why are you wasting your time chatting when you have school to study for? BL #2: (typing) Hey relax Tess, what are you my mother? Tess: (typing) Yes, "Slick". I am your mother. BL #2: (typing) Um.........Gotta go, see you later mom BL #2 has left the chatroom. Robert: (typing) Finally got back from the boot, Tess. Did you miss me? Tess: (typing) Oh Robert...... ****************DISCONNECTED****************** Tess: (out loud) What is this? How dare it disconnect me. How rude. Stupid, stupid machine! Robert:(out loud) She left, I can't believe she left. Pearl has entered the chatroom. Pearl: (typing) Hello "Robert" how are you tonight? Robert: (typing) Hi Pearl, I'm bummed. My woman just dumped me. Pearl: (typing) Really? Do you live in Springfield by any chance? Robert:(typing) Yes I do. Pearl: (typing) Meet me at the Towers Club in an hour. Robert: (typing) How will I know you? Pearl: (typing) I'll be wearing an orange outfit with white pearls. Robert: (typing) See you there. Robert leaves. Pearl Leaves. Tess reloads the chatroom and re-enters. Tess: (typing) It took forever, but I'm back Robert. Are you here? Tess: (outloud) I guess that says it all, doesn't it? He won't even stay to hear my side of the argument. Typical. Well, who needs him! Tess: (typing) So long chatroom, so long Robert, This is Tess/vanessa saying goodbye and over and out. Vanessa: (outloud) He doesn't love me anymore. Matt: (outloud) She doesn't love me anymore.
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