|
|
|
Setting: It's time to pay a visit to those troubled oil barons from Tulsa, the Lewis family. Today, we see what that new business venture is that Josh was talking about last week. Josh: Lemonade! Get your fresh Lemonade here!!!! Josh is standing at a small, rickety old card table with a pitcher of lemonade and a stack of paper cups. Taped to the front of the table is a sign that says: "Lewis Bothers Lemonade--25 cents for a new cup, 20 cents for a previously used cup." Reva: How are sales, Bud? Josh: Well, I sold all the lemonade. Shayne's friends were playing kickball and got thirsty. Josh: I sure wish Billy would get back here with more lemons, I'm all out. Billy: Hey Little Brother, we have got some BIG problems. Josh: What? Where's the lemons? I sent you to the market to get more lemons. Billy: I couldn't find one dang lemon in all of Springfield. Alan: And you won't find any either. I went to all the stores in town and bought up every lemon in sight. I'll let them rot in my backyard before I'll give, lend or sell you any of them. I swore to Annie that I would destroy any business you try to start. Reva: You miserable son of a ....... Alan: Easy, Reva. I wouldn't want my legal team to have to sue you for assaulting me. Josh: Team? Ben Warren does not make a team, Alan. He's only one annoyingly conceited man. Alan: For your information , Josh, we've also brought in an expert defense lawyer. Reva: Oh Yeah? well even if you hired OJ's lawyers they couldn't save Annie's hide. Alan: I wouldn't be too sure about that Reva. Wait and see. (Alan leaves) Josh: Could things get any worse? David: Josh!!! I snuck a bug into Alan's office and made a tape of his strategy to keep annie out of jail. Here listen: (singing on tape) "DO RE MI FAH SOH LAH TEE DOH...Hi David, it's Vicky. You blew it again. I stole the tape out of your pocket when we were making out at Laurel Falls yesterday, sorry" David: What? She did it to me again!!!! Reva: Next time, bring the tape directly to our house afterwards. David: Right. I'll go put the bug back in Alan's office. (fishes in pocket for bug) Oh Man!! She stole that too! Billy: Look, David..if you're not up to this.... David: I can do this, honest. Things have been hectic for me lately. What with Harley being pregnant and Jenna dying, I'm running the detective agency singlehanded. Reva: No offense, but in her current condition Jenna would be a smarter detective. David: I'll have you know Frank taught me everything I know. (David leaves, bewildered.) Reva: I rest my case. Dietz: Excuse me, Mr. Lewis. I need to have a word with you. Josh: What do you want? Dietz: I have a business offer for you. I want to sell you some "insurance" that your business here doesn't get vandalized or robbed. Josh: The stand and the pitcher go back in the house at night and I keep the sales income in my left pocket so no one can walk off with it. I guess my security needs are taken care of. Dietz: bad things can still happen. You got a place to hide your sugar and stirring spoon? what about your ice? I'd hate to see someone with a blowtorch "accidentally" melt your ice. Josh: I never thought of that...... (Dietz' cell phone rings.) Dietz: Hello? Who's this? Bubba? What do you want Mr. Clinton? Yes, The shipment of cuban cigars has been delayed. No the feds are on to us so we had to keep this shipment legit. we'll get those stogies to you next week. Yes sir, I know you have new interns and you want to try those cigars out. No! You can't cancel your order, we've already bought them from our "distributor". Tell me, what would Carmen do with 500 cuban cigars? Um....I don't think that's physically possible. On second though, you better tell her that yourself. (hangs up) Dietz: Now where was I? If you give us 70% of your weekly sales plus a $200 a week protection expense, we'll make sure nothing bad happens to your establishment. I'll give you 24 hours to STRONGLY consider my offer. Josh: Look pal, I only made $2 today, see. (Holds out $2 to show Dietz.) Dietz: (Swipes $2 out of Josh's hands) That will do for my retainer fee. I'll be back tomorrow. (Dietz leaves) Cassie: Hi guys. Reva: Cassie, thank God you're here. We need to borrow some of that money Hart left you. Cassie: There's a problem with that. Hart signed his will with an "X" instead of his name....It may not be valid without his signature. Josh: Wait, who did he list as an executor? Cassie: We don't know, on the line where they list the executors name he drew a smiley face..... Josh: Oh no. Cassie: ...In crayon. The will is tied up in probate court right now. Billy: Well, little brother. Looks like we're sunk. Cassie: I wish there was something I could do. Josh: There is, get on that card table and make with the "Bump and Grind". Reva: Joshua Lewis, I won't have my sister parading around on a card table half naked. Cassie: Thank you Reva. Reva: Take it all off, Cassie and give the people their money's worth! Wait, let me get my Red dress and I'll join you.
|
|
|