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Setting: In today's episode, Blake wins the mother of the year award...Just kidding. Actually it takes place long ago in a typically fictitious soap opera country called San Cristobel. A small island country west of San Tacobell. Reva has just plunged her car off an open bridge in the Florida Keys. as the car sinks into the murky depths, a friendly dolphin smashes the car window and rescues Reva. As he pulls her out, he develops an obsession for her. Instead of bringing her to shore, he carries her on his back out to sea. The dolphin spies a school of tuna, and being hungry for a snack, he follows them....right into a fishing net. The fishermen cut the dolphin free and bring Reva aboard the ship. They set sail for San Cristobel. When they land, they bring Reva before the Great King Juan III. Pablo: Your Royal Highness, we bring you a tribute to your greatness. Tuna fish and an american woman. Juan: Excellent, cut it up and make me a sandwich. Pablo: You want to put the woman in a sandwich? Juan: Not the woman, fool. The fish. You, come here! Reva: Are you bellowing at me? Juan: I am Juan Valdez, king of the great Land of San Cristobel and purveyor of fine Columbian Coffee. Who are you? Reva: Well...That's a good question. I have amnesia. Juan: You do not remember your name? Reva: Nope, all I know is I woke up on a boat and I seem to have a weird aversion to dolphins and tuna fish. Pablo: Sire, the evil one approaches! Juan: I will handle him. Reva: Evil one? Juan: The evil crime lord who has been trying to overthrow my kingdom for years, Don Corleone-Santos. Don: Hola, my king. Ah, I see you have added a new member to your fah-mee-lee. Pablo (to Reva): He gives me the creeps the way he says "family". Reva: He enunciates well, for a south amercian crimelord. Don (looks at Reva): Tu es muy bonita, como te llamas? Reva: Taco, burrito, nacho to you too. Well, there's one thing I know about myself, I must have flunked Spanish in High School. I don't have a clue what he just said to me. Juan: He said you were pretty and asks your name. Don: You are to be MY WIFE. Pablo: I hate the way he says that, too. Juan: No, she is mine. My loyal servants found her. Pablo: Then you must make a choice. Tell me, king. Have you seen your donkey lately? Juan: Why, no..no I have not. Where is he? What have you done with him? Don: It is on the way to the Santos Glue Factory & Non-mock Turtle Soup Company in Springfield. I can change that, if you give me the woman. Otherwise...... Juan: NO!!!!! I will do anything, please save my donkey. Pablo: The king is very attached to his donkey. Reva: How attached? Never mind, I probably don't want to know. Juan: If you will return my donkey to me, I will give the woman to you. Don: Excellent. You will join my fah-mee-lee and become MY WIFE. Reva: Heck, I have nothing else to do..that I can remember anyway. Let's go Donny! But before we do get hitched I want you to slip a nice shiny ring on my finger. Don: I have no rings. My shrewish wife Carmen took them from me when she helped me fake my death. Don't worry. I'm not a bigamis. Since I'm "dead", the marriage is null and void. Come to think of it, our honeymoon was pretty null and void as well (sighs). Perhaps this time things will be different. King Juan hands a ring to Reva. Juan: This is a gift from me to you. I bought it at the San Cristobal Walmart for $19.97. I got 10% off for Senior Discount day! Reva: It's...big...gawdy....tacky...I love it!!!! Thanks. I mean, Munchos Garcia. Juan: I think you mean "Muchas Gracias". Here, you'd better take this Spanish phrase book as well. Reva: I guess I better get going. Pasta la Visa, King Juan. Don't take any wooden coffee beans. So Reva left for the other side of the island with Don Corleone-Santos. But, how did she get from there to Goshen? is there a Baby Corleone-Santos wandering around? Don't ask me! I have to leave something for a sequel.
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