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You Know You're Addicted to GL When...
compiled by Dianne
posted 7/4/98
There are some obvious signs of GL addiction. For example, you skip work because you hear it's a "must-see" day. You're actually happy to be home sick from work or school so you can see GL. You set up more than one VCR to make sure it tapes. You've ever been angry because your VCR failed to tape the show that day (for whatever reason). You watch your GL tape immediately when you get home before you do anything else. You don't own a previously-blank videotape that doesn't have some part of GL on it. You watch it while on vacation, even if you're vacationing in on a gorgeous tropical island. You check the GL News and Previews site once a day or more. You watch the show no matter how bad the storylines are. Even if you watch the show live, you still tape it in case you miss something.
However, how do you know you're really, really addicted to GL? Here are some signs:
...you start writing papers about it in your composition class.
...while in the bathtub, you baptize yourself the slut of Springfield.
...you homeschool your kids and use the show as part of their curriculum.
...you start to care whether Josh falls in love with the clone Reva.
...you find yourself telling anyone who will listen what is going on between Phillip and Harley.
...you skip your final exam to watch the show.
...you know cast bios like priests know the Bible.
...they add to the opening "Chosen by TV Guide and Soap Opera Digest as the Best Soap of 1997" and you rewind that portion of the tape and watch it over again cheering.
...you are five months behind in watching the show and you have all of the taped episodes taking up two shelves of a bookcase because you insist on watching each episode even though you know what will happen.
...you can't wait to go to work so you can get on the net to find out the latest happenings.
...you dream about GL as if you're in Springfield.
...you begin talking like the characters are your personal friends and you spend every day with them living their lives with them.
...you wonder if you cut your hair would it look as good as Cleva's.
...you wish you could live in Springfield, where you could own a Diner that gave you enough money that you could kick out the customers.
...you've received a speeding ticket because you're rushing home to see the show.
...you schedule appointments around the show's airtime.
...you call you boyfriend Josh and that isn't his real name.
...your five year-old twins update your husband on what is happening in Springfield.
...you scream out Phillip's name instead of your husband's during hot passionate sex.
...you consider taking a summer vacation to Springfield.
...you can't sleep at night because you're too worried about what is going to happen on the show.
...you know what color Alan's suspenders are every day of the week.
...you suggest names to a woman who is expecting a baby and they are all names of a character from the show.
...GL comes before sex.
...you cannot talk to your friends or family (even if they live far away) without mentioning Springfield residents.
...you wait for Nettie to answer the door when you have visitors.
...you name your children Reva, Josh, & Annie.
...you name your pets after GL characters.
...you start telling your friends about something that happened to a friend of yours and you realize that it happened on
Guiding Light.
...you don't like weekends because GL doesn't air on weekends.
...you have shown the show more loyalty throughout your life than friends, family or lovers...nothing comes between you and Guiding Light...not famine, plague or genocide!!
...your new mission is life is to figure out who shot Carl.
...you start talking back to the characters.
...you define styles of clothing with a character's name (for example--wearing jeans without a belt is doing a Cassie).
...you visit Springfield and look up the Shaynes in the phonebook.
...you know way more about cloning and kidney transplants than all your friends do.
...your first thought every morning is "Will Phillip be wearing a shirt today?"
...you can list, in order, all of Reva's husbands.
...you own more than one copy of the 60th anniversary book.
...you scream at friends if they speak during the show.
...you honestly believe you're going to miss something MAJOR if you miss one day.
...you establish a cult based around the worship of lighthouses.
...your friends ask you if you like some one and you say a name of someone on the show.
...you take GL cast pictures out of the soap magazines and put them in frames.
...you have a really, really bad day just because the show didn't go the way you wanted it to.
...you left the dog out on the chain meaning to bring him in during a commercial break, only to find him on all fours and dehydrated an hour later.
...your husband comes home early from work to cut the grass during GL and you get really angry.
...you look for Hart Jessup in WalMart.
...your TV remote automatically turns itself on at 2 pm.
...your family members start calling YOU Reva just to get your attention.
...all you want for Christmas is a subscription to Soap Opera Weekly and a GL bracelet.
...your 5-year old son wonders why Roger isn't getting any airtime and he hopes he's alright.
...you see a lighthouse and look for a Sprinfield resident on the observation deck.
...you spend a small fortune to rent a VCR because yours in the shop, just to tape GL.
...you don't take phone calls during the show and you get mad at the people who do call.
...you hum the Guiding Light theme to your pet goldfish, Maureen, who has difficulty sleeping at night ever since her accident in '93 (her bowl was knocked off the end table).
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